Never explain yourself...

Never explain yourself...
Those who like you does not need it. Those who dislike you will not believe it.

Wah! This is a lesson I learned the hard way.

It slapped me on the face twice, and both incidents happened barely two weeks apart. Haizt....

The first incident was not really something of a bitter medicine. I was actually on a high when that happened, so I dismissed the incident as a "not really a serious case of behavioral disorder ".

However, the second one was really a bitter medicine to my habit of constantly explaining everything that I am and everyting that I do to everyone.

It happened when a girl I just met asked a favor from me, and in a sudden surge of insecurity, shamefulness and panic, I gave an UNNECESSARY explanation regarding (or better yet... a story behind) the matter.

Doesn't sound like a problem, right?

But, here is the thing... the catch... or whatever you call it...

I lied.

Yes... What I told her was a lie.

I did not feel well afterwards. It's like something fell heavily on me. I know what that is called: GUILT.

I felt so guilty, all I wanted to do was to run away.

I wish I did. I wish I could. But, I couldn't.

Several minutes afterwards, something like an alarm was ringing inside me.

I have a habit, a DISEASE, that can eventually ruin me.

Let this become a warning. Never explain yourself to anyone. You can never be held accountable for choosing not to, and you can be ruined by the words that go out of your mouth.